Monday, February 5, 2018

10 months

This posted is belated, but the pictures are not. I haven't done a personal update in a while because there's just a lot too it. Long story short, I'm doing the best I can. 2018 is going to be my year and I'm hoping to kinda fill in the blanks. It's a medical issue that looked like PPD, but wasn't.

Anyways, onto the star of my post, Miss Anna Belle!!!!  Big things are happening now and I seriously just can't. She's turning 1 next month??????  How did this even happen?

What you see is what you get with this amazingness. She is happiness, smiles, fun, unique, and so full of life and personality all in a tiny package that still fits into six month clothes. Her personality is so big, she's even growing on big sister, finally.

So what's our girl up to now? Well, we stand independently, we climb-a lot! We climbed the stairs, we climb toys, we climb enough that mama knows she's in trouble. She now has 4 teeth, her bottoms and uppers finally cut the gum and are still growing.

I ordered her b-day tutu and once her outfit is ready I'll work on getting the banner and then doing pics and cake smash. Her party will be just family and lots of fun.

Onto the pics!


I consider this pic "pure Anna Bell" She goes by Bells and Belly as nicknames. Not sure what she'll end up with, but she is one amazing girl!



First time in the sand and she's like, look ma! Yeah, I guesstimate she'll walk by her first bday.



Such a sweet girl. I'm unsure if thumb sucking is the new norm, but she's started this recently.



Been waiting for this moment, she wasn't into babywearing until recently, so I'm excited!



I left the baby gate open on accident. I realized and wen to go close it and she was no where to be seen. Well, I found her....... And yes, she climbed all the way to the top. 



Did I mention she enjoys climbing?



This girl looks right into your soul. I am so lucky to raise her and her sister.

Saturday, December 30, 2017

9 months

Hard to believe Miss Anna Belle is getting closer and closer to her first birthday.  She is now 9 months old. She' s crawling champion, but prefers to stand and cruise wherever she can. She wants to walk BAD. She is mostly sweet and happy, except these two pesky top teeth trying to cut through her poor gums. She is curious about everything and into all that she sees. She has her hand open all the time so that she can grab all that she can see. She is 17 lbs. 10 oz and 26" tall. She's on the smaller side, but big things come in small packages.













Merry Christmas and a happy New Year from all 4 of us. Hoping for a wonderful 2018!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

8 months

This precious cutie turned 8 months yesterday. So much development in the past month. She's way more interested in trying to stand than crawl and is obsessed with pulling up and can. She does crawl, but it's kind of an odd one, but for sure she gets around. She's still the happiest baby on earth and loves to play with toys and interact. She's so much fun and so sweet. She eats food through Baby Led Weaning. She's still on the smaller side, wearing 6 month clothes and currently trying to get over a cold. Bathtime is her very favorite activity.





Tuesday, October 31, 2017

7 months


What on Earth????  Can someone explain how I was pregnant yesterday and today I have a 7 month old? She turned 7 months last Friday, but it's has been nonstop crazy lately. Here's her official picture:



This little girl is milestone central right now. Hands are almost always in her mouth because she's cut her first tooth and that's always loads of fun. She is now rolling over, trying to move on her belly, sitting up completely unassisted, eating (baby led weaning), and trying to figure out everything put in front of her. She LOVES people, smiles, and giggles. While big sister is most definitely not a fan, she loves watching her and trying to interact when she can. You can see all the sweetness that is this precious girl starting to emerge as she's coming into her own. Month 7 will be huge for her.

Exactly a year ago today Ivy, Emma, Chase, Kate, David, and I made the announcement that our final member will hopefully be joining us in April. 



While she never quite made it to April, this year I'm proud to show off or beloved and precious Anna Belle all hatched from her pumpkin and part of our family.



Here are some more pictures taken of our sweet baby girl. We've been to a Pumpkin Patch this month and also a Trunk or Treat. Her first costume will be a flower and I can't wait to take her out tonight.










And I even managed one with big sister before we left for the Pumpkin Patch



 Here's some other fun pics taken in the past month. She is the happiest baby I've ever seen in my life!







Saturday, September 30, 2017

6 month post partum update

I didn't want to combine this with my Anna post because she's too wonderful to have my damper on it. Truthfully I've struggled so much in the past six months. It's just been very, very hard.

I mentioned how my PCP said my thryoid wasn't great. Well labs confirmed that and we ended up changing medications when I saw him on September 20th. Unfortunately I was doing really bad at that point, I was struggling with energy and staying awake. I was having coffee nonstop and even caffeine pills and still struggling to stay awake and function. 

My PCP wanted to run more labs and in the meantime gave me phentermine to help with energy. Unfortunately I had a horrific reaction to that medication. I was dizzy, nauseous, and each day it just got worse. I felt like I had bugs crawling on my skin, I had tremors. My mind and my body were overtaken by this medication. It ended up affecting me negatively at work and I could've gotten in trouble. I called my PCP crying on Tuesday and told me to discontinue immediately. It's only now that the med has completely left my system.

My labs showed two major thyroid hormones were not good and my meds were changed on the 20th. Now that I'm off phentermine I'm able to see that maybe that med is helping. I see him again for a follow up on 10/5 because he redrew labs on the 20th. I've seen those results and my thyroid is even worse. It's very possible I don't have PPD, but just a serious issue with my thyroid. I'm going to talk to him and see if we want to leave me at my dose and retest or increase my dose, but I'm hoping if I can fix my thyroid levels, then maybe I can start feeling better. He also switched my antidepressant again and I'm currently on Prozac.

I'm angry with how bad my body and mind have been. How I've not been present like my family deserves. I hate myself for all my issues and struggles. It's been going on for so long and my family deserves better. I've pretty much disappeared from my online presence because it takes all I have just to make it through the day. For everyone I've let down, I'm incredibly sorry.

6 months

Can you believe it? I can hardly believe this little munchkin is here, let alone a full 6 months? I'm in shock. However, here we are, a half year of this lovely lady. 

Here's where we're at with Anna:
She can sit up unassisted for 1-5 minutes. With a boppy or some support, even longer and she's really into sitting. She doesn't roll over yet, but honestly, it's more of an I'm happy and content where I am, then an I can't. She easily rolls to her sides to grab at stuff. She LOVES people. She loves interaction. She is the happiest baby I've ever seen in my life. She has a smile for anyone and everyone. Loves to be held, cuddled, played with, just everything. She is a very chill baby and a complete sweetheart.

No teeth at this time, but very actively teething. We are having some crankiness due to pain, but even amid the tears, if you give eye contact, she'll look at you and smile. Such a sweetheart.

Big sister is still adjusting and struggling. She does nothing to hurt her, just has no interest in her and will happily tell anyone and everyone that she's not a fan of her sister. I'm hoping in time. These girls are in opposite in personality as looks.

Anna has a 6 month appt coming up on 10/5. She seems healthy, only one minor cold so far. She's on the smaller side, she wears 3-6 month clothing, but she's a fun things in small packages kinda kid. She's added so much joy and sunshine to my life.




Here's some other highlights of recent pics:


She's really into grabbing her toes right now. 



Got this bath chair recently and she loves being able to sit and splash around.



This was taken just a week ago. Her first time ever in a cart.



Not a huge fan of tummy time, but we're pretty good at it.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

A day at the park

I've been doing so much better on the thyroid meds. It's been life changing. I can actually function and even enjoy being with my family. It's not perfect, but so much better.  I could hardly life before, I was just so tired and struggled so much with every little part of everything and now it's so much better. My mind is clearer, I feel happier, more connected to my family, I can go on and on, but it's definitely gotten a lot better.

My labs are available, but I can't access them on the portal until Monday afternoon, so we'll see. I still need to schedule the thyroid u/s too. My therapist called me and said they found temp place to do therapy from since the current offices were completely destroyed by Harvey, so I'll start again on the 19th. Starting to see the light again.

So, today was gorgeous weather and we went to the park. I ran into my MFM there and it was awesome to show off Anna on the "outside" and thank her in person for all she did to ensure Anna survived and came home to our family. She was leaving so I only saw her for a minute.

I am so grateful to her and to everyone who's supported me with all of this. I know I seem like a lunatic half the time and I'm amazed anyone even reads this blog still, to be honest. I do wonder if she'd been in charge of the twins would they be here. Tonight when I was putting Anna down in her room I looked around and for a minute I went back to the room I originally saw, the one with Lion King on it, instead of butterflies. I don't understand life or why things happen the way they do. I never will, I just have to accept what is and try to move forward.

I do want to somehow incorporate something Lion King in my home in their memory, just not sure what or how. It can be subtle, I just want to do something. I'm also working on something professionally that I hope turns into something because of them.

Here's a few pics from today: