I am truly lucky and blessed. I know I want a baby so bad that some days I can hardly stand it, but I am truly blessed to have all that I have. I have an amazing husband. Not just someone who's good to me, but someone who I can connect with on every level. He is my best friend and a great husband. How I got this lucky in life, I'll never know. Even more amazing, I found him when I was only 15! I do have a stable job that I do enjoy (for the most part). I have a nice home and nice pets. I think some days it's just so easy to lose sight of that when that dark cloud looms over me.
Yesterday had a combo of things, yes, I was surprised to hear about my classmate carrying twins. However, I had a frustrating day at work coupled by the fact that it had been 10 months since I said goodbye to Chase. Also, as anyone dealing with fertility issues can tell you, ovulation time can actually be quite stressful. There's the promise of hope coupled with fear of failure and then trying to be intimate all at the same time.
Also, it's hard to necessarily point out ovulation "day". My chart is a bit off this cycle and I'm actually not sure if it was Wed, yesterday, or today. I am very doubtful it was on Wed, I think it's either yesterday or today, but I won't know for sure for a few days.
After a nice walk and talk with my husband I felt much better and we spent some time just hanging out and watching some shows and enjoying a drink. Then today we're spending the day hanging out, playing games, visited a dairy farm, lunch out, etc. Tomorrow night we're going to the symphony. Our lives can be so busy we often spend our time doing chores together instead of enjoying each other's company and just relaxing, so its' nice to take the time to do that. Feeling more optimistic and hopeful and I'm going to make sure I keep being positive no matter what the results of this cycle are (please remind me I said this in about two weeks, LOL).