Friday, July 20, 2012

Someone else with a BFP.....

So, I was updating my FF with some of my fertility signs for the day and decided to check out this girl's chart.  We went to graduate school together and she had her first child during the last year.  She has PCOS and it took her three years to conceive her first, however, it was very soon after her diagnosis and the same cycle as her HSG.  She started TTC again in April 2012.  Well, she'd been messaging me on how hard TTC is, etc (at least she has one baby!).  Her RE was going to start her on Clomid next cycle if she didn't get a BFP, so I go see if her new cycle started yet and I see she got a BFP a few days ago.  She didn't say anything to me about this.  So, I message her and ask her about it and she says she hasn't told anyone since she feels a weird pain and wants to make sure it's not ectopic and she's getting checked on Tuesday by her RE.

My feelings are hurt on a few fronts.  First of all, I'm hurt she didn't tell me.  Then I am a bit jealous and not that happy to hear about her BFP.  She wasn't very nice when she was preg and then she complained about her baby a lot when he was first born.  Not that I'm one to judge on whether someone deserves to have their baby or not, just another classic case of here's someone who's pregnant...again!  And here there's me.  Am I ever going to be a mom?  I want a baby so bad.  With every fiber of my being right now, I just want to be a mom.  Why can't I be?

This is a person in general that only texts me.  She doesn't see me in person (even though I live real close) or even comments on my FB.  It's like being back in high school and some popular girl tries to make you her "secret friend".

I'm just having a very bad moment.  I wish I had someone to call and cry to and talk about this, but I just feel alone and without a baby.

2 comments:

  1. I totally relate to your feelings. It just doesn't seem fair many days, but it WILL be YOU celebrating your pregnancy very soon. I have no doubt. You are doing all the right things...good things for your body and future baby. When little Chase arrives, he's going to be a super baby from all the healthy stuff you're doing!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Emily, you really made me feel better. You are so right, Chase is going to be absolutely amazing when he arrives and it is going to happen soon. My body is almost ready, I can tell! Thank you so much!!! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete