I can't believe it's truly been 11 months today since I said goodbye to Chase. I'm not sure if anyone understands what he truly meant to be and how much my soul is missing without him. I think about him every day. My FB pic has been his pic since the day we said goodbye along with my desktop photo. Every day I look for a sign or some meaning that he's there and I know he is.
I know he's very tied to my TTC journey and many think that's a bit crazy and twisted of me, but you have to be me to understand it. This is something I felt years before TTC, his death, or anything I've been through in the past year.
I found my acu on the sixth month anniversary of his death. I don't think it's coincidence as I'd done several searches for acu's in the area before. I just gave it one more effort on that particular day.
Today is my cycle day 18, the same age he would be now if he was still here. I am ovulating today. Today is 11 months since we said goodbye. Deep in my heart I am scared that I'm holding on to too much hope for something that isn't true, but another part of me just knows and remembers that I have to keep the faith.
Above all, what is meant to be, will be.