I just need to vent on my husband real quick because I feel like I have absolutely no one I can talk to about this. Let me start off by saying I have a great relationship with my husband. He's actually my very best friend. However, as anyone dealing with IF knows, especially if the one woman is the one with the IF, it all falls to us.
Taking temp, pills, powders, appt's, ultrasounds, tracking with cycle CD, peeing on OPKs, HPTs, etc. I can't EVER forget I'm very actively TTC because I have to do something with it every single day. What I need DH to do is be there when days are hard and I think I'll never conceive and when I say it's "go time", he's ready.
So, since CD 6 my left ovary has felt "pinchy". I can def. feel it there and even when I had my CD 3 u/s the tech said I had better follies on my left. So, here I am CD 10 and while my OPK is pretty light, I have EWCM. We had sex "for fun" on CD 7. So I told him on my way home from work that I wanted to go on an every other day (EOD) schedule until I get my +OPK starting tonight. So, he asks if we can start tomorrow and I'm like why? He says, because I already got off today. Um, WTF???
I am pretty P'O'd about that. I actually don't typically care about that but this is getting close to "o time" here and I can't have that. When I went off on him he told me well, you said O probably this weekend and so it's only Wed. I need you to make out a sched for me so I know when you are going to O and we plan accordingly.
REALLY???? I would like to freakin' know when I'm Oing well ahead of time too, but I don't. I don't get advance notice, just signs that it's "coming" and then "it's over". When I get real close I can sometimes narrow the day, but I don't just know ahead of time when it will happen. I also feel that if I say "this weekend" I'm going to O, then you are "hands off" for the few days prior to it, and yes, Wed counts in my book.
I know I'm probably over reacting, but I am just so incredibly mad!! On top of it I started a brand new job and the orientation is very far away from my house, I'm talking like 90 min. commute in rush hour. So, I had a 12 hour day today between the driving, the orientation, and then having my TB skin test results. I come home for a little bit before running to an HOA meeting. He calls me while I'm on the road and wnats to know what to do about dinner. Really??? You can't cook something? Maybe have something ready for me. I come home, are dishes done? No. They are waiting for me. So, all I have time to do before my HOA meeting is feed cats, wash dishes, and then blog here because I am crying. DH and I got into a fight over O and BD, so he's in his office with the door shut which if fine because I don't want to see him. Also, we got extra border for this Halloween fence thing we're doing and naturally I have to put that up too. Oh, and get up extra early tomorrow for that commute again. I am so tired, fed up, and frustrated.
I pretty much told him to take this cycle and shove it. I hate feeling this way, so negative and out of control. I just don't know what to do about it this moment. I just want to cry. I know I'm exhausted since I had trouble sleeping since I was anxious about my job today. Sigh..... off to HOA meeting.