Friday, October 19, 2012

Two peas

So, apparently when I was describing what O felt like the other day, what I failed to understand is that wasn't one follie I was dealing with.  Apparently an E2 of 495 at your +OPK means I had two mature follies, so I probably released two eggs this cycle.  DH is all excited and already talking names for them.  Meh, I know better.  My acu was really pleased with the number and I'm glad that so far the numbers are looking good.  In the back of my head I keep thinking even if my ovarian reserve doesn't turn out to be affecting me much since the quality is there and clearly there's at least one egg every cycle (I guess sometimes two), then what do I do if I still don't conceive?  I know I'm jumping ahead of the game, but I see a lot of "unexplained" fertility issues.  For now I am explained though and things are looking good.  Getting my progesterone checked Monday at 7 DPO, but since going to an independent lab, it will probably take me a couple of days to get the number.

A few of you asks this in the comments section, but this is the end of her 2ww, this weekend.  So she is hardly pregnant and already posting on FB.  You know how it goes though, everything will be fine and she'll have a beautiful, healthy baby. I'm not jealous of her.  Her life is nothing I want for my own, but I'm envious of the fact that she can conceive and hurt by her lack of support of me and thoughtlessness at the way she told me and even thoughtlessness at the way and time she asked if I'd be Godparent.  I'm sure I'll "get over it", but I'm not there yet.  She hasn't called me back or anything, so hopefully I can keep my distance and avoid talking to her for a while.  No idea on if I'm going to be Godparent or not.  Maybe it's time to just cut this friendship.  I dunno.

So, I started a new job and yesterday was my first day out of orientation and meeting the group of people I'd be working with.  I was introduced to the group and then a weird thing happened.  It was at a large meeting, so after I was introuduced we were let out for a break.  A woman comes up to me and says "you're not pregnant, are you?"  I'm like, "um, what?"  She tells me that the last two BCBAs (that's my position, I'm a board certified behavior analyst) quit because they got pregnant and had their babies and wanted to be home with them and she wanted to make sure I'd be around for a while and wasn't pregnant.  I told her that I have no plans to quit.  Little does she know she struck the goldpot with the BCBA that can't conceive.  Anyways, that was really random.

I have to thank you all so much!!  I was so hurt yesterday and I still am, but a bit better.  I've been pretty down since yesterday morning and I'm in that throw in the towel mode.  I don't mind it when it happens now since AF is due in a week and then another two until O time, so I have 3 weeks to get over it, which I'm sure I will.  Anyways, I don't think you guys know how much your comments meant to me.  You guys really care and for those of you along in the 2ww with me, I'm keeping everything crossed for you that when I visit your blog I see  a nice, blaring BFP!  I'm talking, I want to see the pic of the stick!  *hugs*  Thank you all!

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