Friday, November 30, 2012

Be Thankful - week 5

I am so glad this is over.  I probably won't do this next year (I totally said this last year).  Lets hope I'm busy with a baby at that time.....  (I can dream, right?)

Day 26 - Thankful I had a great 4-day weekend since today isn't.

Day 27 - Thankful for my amazing acupuncturist!

Day 28 - Thankful my flat tire did not occur on the freeway.

Day 29 - I am thankful for my friends.  I feel so incredibly blessed today than I ever had in my whole life.  This past year as I have dealt with a struggle, I've been amazed at who has stepped up to the plate during the good and the bad and I can only hope you have received the same from me. Whether you are a close friend, an acquaintance, or somewhere in between I am thankful for all you've added to my life.

Day 30 - I saved this for the last day on purpose.  I am extremely thankful and blessed for my amazing, wonderful, loving, caring, husband.  I honestly don't know where I would be in life without this man.  I am absolutely the luckiest woman ever to have such an awesome best friend and spouse. Words cannot describe how much he means to me.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thank you!

I want to thank each and everyone one of you who took the time to respond to me on my blog yesterday.  I was in a very dark place and was at the very bottom of what I could handle.  I made it through my day and did a nice castor oil pack along with bath and wine.

Today was a better day.  For the first time in about a week I did not cry today and I felt okay.  I really did and hopefully I'm over the worst of it.  The holidays are just so hard and I'm facing another birthday soon.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I can't do this anymore

I just can't do this anymore. I don't have one shred of hope or positivity left in me anymore. Between my new job that looks like is turning out to be a big mistake and this while TTC process that isn't working out either I just feel broken and hopeless. I don't know what to do or which way to turn anymore. I don't know what is right or how to get through any more of this. I am probably going to delete this blog soon since there is no point. All I am doing is Chaseing a dream that unfortunately died on 9/26/11 and isn't ever coming back. It's time to face reality.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Be Thankful-Week 4

On Friday I will post my last week.  Here's for this past week, I'll be honest, I almost gave up this week and didn't finish, but I felt I made a commitment, so I should stick it out.

Day 18 - The neighborhood wreaths didn't take too long and came out really great!!  Can't wait to see them hung up.

Day 19 - Thankful my aircard came in at work!  Yay!

Day 20 - Thankful for a crazy, busy day that was able to distract my mind from what was bothering me. (This is when I started spiraling down from TTC)

Day 21 - Thankful I was able to get off of work early to get things ready.

Day 22 - Thankful I have 13 people coming to my house for Thanksgiving, because some people don't have any.

Day 23 - Thankful for a fun day watching Breaking Dawn and Breaking Dawn II with my mom.

Day 24 - Thankful for my 3 wonderful cats and for the 17 years I had with Chase.

Day 25 - Thankful for a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

Liebster Nominations

I am nominating the following blogs for the Liebster:  The Grass is Green Enough , The Idiodyssey, Eat Love Procreate, Our Journey to a Baby BumpLife as I Know It, Strong Mind Passionate Soul Crappy Uterus, Who You Callin' INFERTILE, Dandelion Soul, Dreaming of Dimples, Rollercoaster to Baby Bump, and Waiting on Baby Buchanan.

I apologize if any of you have been nominated already and it's okay if you choose not to do this because someone else nominated you first.

Here are the questions:

1. Your life is going to become a script for you movie.  Who do you want to play you?

2. What is your greatest accomplishment in life?

3. What is your favorite meal/food?

4. What is your favorite fairytale story and why?

5. What is your favorite hobby?

6. What would surprise me about you?

7. Who was your first kiss?

8. Do you have a phobia?

9. What kind of music do you listen to?

10. What is your favorite show?

11. Come up with your own question and answer it.

Can't wait to read the answers!

Liebster Award

So, I was just nominated for the Liebster Award from Wantinganotherwager.  You are too sweet to do that and I'll happily answer the questions.

For those who don't know, this is how it works:

You answer the 11 questions that were posted on the blog you were nominated from.  You answer them on your blog and then you nominate 11 more blogs and post 11 new questions for them.  I'm going to answer the questions that were nominated here and then post my new nominations and questions.

1. Where would you rather live, beach or mountains?
I would rather live on the beach.  I'm a big water person, love, love swimming!  I'm also a fan of warmer climates and it can get cold up in those mountains.

2. What is your favorite season and why?
I love Spring.  It starts to warm up, it's a season of new birth and new beginnings.  Everything is fresh and starting to wake up.  It just feels like a time of new possibilities.

3. What qualities do you look for in a best friend?
I look for people who are honest and are good people.  People who would put others before themselves and have a good heart.  I look for people who are "real" and don't fake or pretend or anything like that.

4. Are you a dog or a cat person?
I am a cat person.  I have 3 cats and then I feel all the neighborhood strays.  I am the crazy cat lady, LOL.

5. If you could travel to any country free of charge right now for two weeks, where would you go?
I would go to Israel to visit my family.  I haven't seen them since 1990 (except my aunts that came to visit my dad a year and a half ago).  It would be awesome to see family and then show my husband my childhood places and visit them.

6. Which family member are you the closest to and why?
Right now I'm closest to my mom.  She needs me the most right now and we have developed a good bond and a strong friendship.

7. Who is your favorite musician/musical group?
Alright, I guess I better 'fess up.  I really like rap music, especially 90s gangsta rap.  I have two groups I really like and neither one are that current, but I love their music.  One is Bone Thugz N Harmony and the other is Boyz II Men.  Boys II Men is not rap, just R&B, but I love both of those groups very much.  Yeah, sorry.....  LOL.

8. How many times have you been in love?
Other than my husband I've had one other serious relationship.  I actually ran away to New Jersey with this guy, but he was a complete a-hole and I'm super glad it didn't work out.  And I'm the one that broke up with his sorry ass!  LOL!

9. What's your favorite movie?
Okay, please don't make fun of me.  I heart Disney classic's and I love the movie Beauty and the Beast.  I love the music, the story, and Belle's yellow dress. The other movie I just love is The Wedding Singer.

10. eReader or real book?
Forever I refused a kindle 'cause I was all about the feel of a real book.  Then DH got me a kindle when I got my masters as a gift.  Can we say SOLD?  Love that thing with all my heart!!!  However, if I do love a book or a series, I still want to own the actual physical piece.  I love, love books!

11. Come up with your own question and answer it. 
I'm let's see....  I guess where did I meet my husband?  I've been with my husband since I was 16 years old. We met in high school in German class.  He is hands down the absolute most amazing man ever and I am so, so lucky to have him!

Friday, November 23, 2012

A New Attitude

So, here I am, CD 1 of cycle 22 of ATTC.  I am actually okay.  I know I had a pretty hard week, but I just had a realization this morning and a new attitude that I am going to pray remains with me for the rest of the year so that I can get through it and stay positive.

I am not going to conceive naturally.  My body simply can't.  Now, I am not going to discount acu, the herbs, and everything else I've done for my body.  My cycles have changed so much since starting acupuncture.  I used to ovulate very early in my cycle and now I ovulate mid-cycle.  My cycles used to also be about 3 weeks long and now they are about 25 days.  This past cycle with the progesterone and a few other changes, my LP was 12 days instead of the 10 or 11 it had been.  My progesterone has increased and my estrogen has decreased to normal range.  My other labwork has been really good since acupuncture as well.  However, I am not pregnant and I'm accepting the fact that for me, it's not going to happen naturally.

I plan to spend the rest of 2012 continuing to improve my body.  I am going to continue with the acupuncture, the herbs, and the supplements.  Unfortunately my insurance does not cover any fertility treatments at all, and as anyone who TTC knows, fertility treatments can be quite expensive.  This means that in the new year I cannot afford to continue doing acupuncture AND see the RE, so I am going to say goodbye to acu once I start with treatments.  I am looking at the rest of the year as finishing getting my body ready and hopefully it won't take as many drugs or as long with the drugs to get the BFP.  Hoping I have a good response to the medical treatment as well.  Once I do conceive and I am only seeing the RE to monitor the first trimester, I can see acu again to make sure I keep the pregnancy.

I will be forever grateful for all that acu has done for my body. I am praying that I can keep the outlook I have today for the rest of the year, even when cycle 23 begins.  I'll see the RE for the first time around the end of the 23rd cycle and be ready to start cycle 24 with him.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to take a moment to wish all my readers a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving!  I can't thank you guys enough for all of your love and support and I feel blessed for all of you.  Infertility has been one tough journey and it's nice to know others are rooting for me and helping keep me up.  I'm so excited for my blogger friends who recently got their BFPs and I can't wait for everyone else to get theirs too.

I feel honored that my biggest concern in life can be a child.  I have everything else in life that I need and a lot of what I want.  I have a great life, good friends, a family, amazing pets, a job, a nice house, and an amazing husband.  Even though I am dealing with IF I have this amazing support network.  Thank you all for what you mean in my life.

I will update on my cycle since AF is due today.  I've had two days of spotting and cramping and it looks like more spotting today.  The cramps are pretty bad and more "AF like". Not sure if my body is having trouble getting started with AF or what the deal is, but we'll see which day CD 1 falls.  Temps are low.  I'm 11 DPO today.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Progesterone Results

So, yesterday my results came in, I'm at 11.4 this cycle.  Much better than the 8.7 last time.  I guess the Vitex and Progesterone drops helped put me right where I should be.  So I had a cycle of my body doing what it should, but I can tell from the cramping this morning how it's probably going to end.  Of course, you never know until it's over, but at the same time you kinda do know.

My husband really wants me try again after this cycle and make it my last.  This next one will end around my birthday.  I think the numbers coming out so well made him real excited to try again.  Gotta love him for all his hope though.

I think I can guess how this will go.  AF is due on Thanksgiving and so I'll wake up ready for her and she'll no-show.  I'll spend all day in frustration and mild hope only to find her Friday, though she may wait until mid-day.  I'm sure somewhere in there will be a BFN or two since I'll test, unless my temp actually goes below coverline.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Be Thankful-week 3

Here is this past week:

Day 12 - Thankful to have found a great deal on furniture.  Can't wait for it!

Day 13 - Thankful I wasn't injured in a car accident this morning (I was side swiped by an 18 wheeler during rush hour bumper to bumper traffic this morning).

Day 14 - Thankful for the coworker who showed me how to work my schedule so I could get off work earlier the day before Thanksgiving.

Day 15 - Thankful to be spending some time with good friends.

Day 16 - Thankful for GPS.

Day 17 - Thankful for PJ's, especially soft fuzzy ones with Hello Kitty on them.

Day 18 - Thankful the neighborhood wreaths didn't take too long and came out really great!! Can't wait to see them hung up.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I knew better.....  I started feeling the tiniest of cramps in my abdomen, it's 8 DPO, so about that time.  I know exactly what's going inside of me right now, my body has realized there isn't going to be a baby even though it spend the last 8 days preparing for one and building up my uterus for it.  Now the progesterone is going, oh, never mind  and my lining is slowly going to break down.  I can actually see it as I type this.  Lab said I should have my progesterone results on Monday, so I'll post when I get them.

 For some desperate reason I had a need to go to the 8 ball website where I specifically typed in the question "Will I find out I'm pregnant Thanksgiving 2012?"  Naturally the answer is "my sources say no".  WTF is wrong with me that I would go do that?  Why deep inside is there still a shred of hope?  I hate it, hate it, hate it!  I just want it to go away so it won't hurt so bad when AF comes.  Why, oh why, does it have to hurt so bad??  Praying again to God to please just take away my desire for a baby and let me enjoy the life I have.

This evening I'll post my week 3 of "Be Thankful".  I have to admit, it gets harder and harder as the month goes on to do this, but I have to remember that even though this kills me, I still have so much to be thankful for.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I am not pregnant

Yep, I am not pregnant and I'm not going to be.  At least not in 2012.  It's time I start acting like it and stop playing all these stupid games.  I am so tired of this.  Tired of the heartbreak.  I went out to bingo with some of my former co-workers there and a friend who knew about my issues took a deep breath and told me I know you're going to want to scream and throw pillows at me, but I have tell you I'm pregnant.  I am very happy for this friend, she had no issues at all with IF and was not preventing but was going to get serious in the new year.  She was a supportive sounding board for me when we worked together this year.  It still hurt to hear it.  God, I wish BFP announcements didn't hurt.  I'm rarely upset about the person who's telling me.  It's just me.  It just reminds me that I can't get pregnant and my body won't do it and while I do have a diagnosis like DOR, I still don't honestly get why.  I'm guess I did it to myself when I gained extraordinary amounts of weight, maybe when I had gastric, maybe just years of screwing my body with diet pills, starvation, exercise, binging.  I don't know, but I am not pregnant and I highly doubt I'm going to be.

I'm officially done and taking the rest of the year off.  AF is due both on Thanksgiving and then on my 32nd birthday.  I just can't do this.  I actually spent some time googling things that were not good to do while pregnant because I wanted to do them all.   Maybe if I do all these things I'll actually forget how bad it hurts.

I am starting with my appt to get a keratin treatment on the 24th.  I will stop taking all "fertility related" herbs, supplements, and anything else.  I have to take calcium and a multi twice a day due to malabsorption  so I'll do that, but nothing else.  No acu.  I have one appt on the 28th and I'll just cancel it.

Other things on my list:
caffeine-yep, as much as I want, whenever I want.
alcohol-of course!
exercise-It's not good to do anything with weights so I think I'll start lifting those.
hot tub-gonna soak in that in the gym after my workouts
soft cheese
lunch meat
hot dogs
electric blanket and my castor oil packs.  I miss doing this anyways, it's been hard since I O'd.

The biggie?  I'm gonna get a tattoo for my 32nd bday.  I'm going to get a paw print.  Where should I put it?  I'm open to all ideas.  I need it hidden for work purposes, but no area that will "change", kwim?  Also, anything else that's bad for pregnancy let me know!!  Not big on sushi or else I'd eat that too, but open to other things.

I have no plans to really celebrate my bday otherwise.  I'll go to dinner with DH and any family members that would throw a big fuss, but that's it.  I'm working on talking DH out of not doing any holiday decorations this year.  My reason is I just started a new job and we're both just very busy right now.  Gonna order gifts online and wrap them and keep them in the closet until the gift exchange, but I don't really want to have it all around me the whole month.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Be Thankful-week 2

I just realized I forgot to post this last Sunday, so I'll do it today, but only from the last week.  I'll try to remember this week's on Sunday.

Day 5 - I am thankful for music.  No matter what your mood is, there is music to compliment it.  Music can change your mood, tell a story about your life, where you are, where you've been, and can express the same for others. Music can elicit memories.  I can't explain what a huge part music has played in my life.

Day 6 - I am thankful to be free.  Free to express my thoughts and opinions, free to vote for who I want, to decide to be educated or not, listen to the media or do my own research. Free to choose to work, stay at home, be married, or any other personal aspect of my life.  I am thankful to be an american.

Day 7 - Thankful for a car repair place that went out of their way to help me out. (headlights were out).

Day 8 - Thankful my job has flex time since my alarm screwed me this morning and I had to get something done before work (it was my acu and estrogen and LH tests-didn't post this part on FB).

Day 9 - Today I'm just thankful the week is done and it's finally the weekend!

Day 10 - I am really and truly thankful for Scentsy!  I'm not on my 2nd year as a consultant and it's just been an amazing experience.  I only went into this to help keep my friends supplied with was.  However, I've met the most amazing people and new friends, gotten some extra spending money, learned a  lot about an amazing company that makes me so happy to be a part of, and most importantly, I've now done a few fundraisers and it is so awesome to be able to do something for others.  without Scentsy I couldn't have helped as much and I'm so thankful for the opportunity.

Day 11 - Thankful for past, present, and future military who live their lives to make sure I can have mine. Bless you and your families.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Hellish Hormones

So, I'll admit, this was a very hard weekend for me.  I'm not 100% sure what happened, but I think it's a chemical/hormonal thing.

I swear I was totally fine and like a switch I just wasn't. It's like nothing could be said the right way and I was overly emotional to everything and then overly sensitive to how emotional I was being.  I swear I was trapped in my own personel hell. I apologized to DH at least once or twice an hr.  I was better yesterday, but still.... 

I know I've never felt my body change like it did on Saturday.  I think I am very glad that ovulation typically happens at night for me and I hope that trend continues in the future.  Another weird thing with all my moods this weekend is my legs were cramping, like when I'm low on potassium, but I've been so good on all of my supplements, so I don't get that either.  One major issue, since the time change I've hardly slept.  I am wired, like weirdly wired all the time.  I get up around 5:00 to go to work and that didn't change all weekend.  I couldn't make my brain be quiet or my energy settle down and even last night I forced myself to try and get sleep around 11:30.  You'd think I'd be dead, nope, wired today.  Like weirdly wired, kinda like mania.  I am going to mention this to acu tomorrow and I wonder if this is playing into my moods too.  So glad I have an appt tomorrow.

Thank you guys for your support as always.  I do feel like a Loony Toon for what I posted and I've considered deleting it, but it's how I felt and I think others can sometimes feel similar.

I did talk to DH about everything and he's super amazing as always.  I am so lucky to have him, you have no idea.  He's just been awesome even though I was some kind of crazy all weekend long.

I am doing much better today, just the wired thing still going on.  I'm 2 DPO and my chart did it's normal 2 DPO dip.  I hope I don't have a crazy LP or anything, though longer would be nice.  7 DPO check on Saturday.  I want to stop temping after tomorrow when FF confirms my O so hoping I can.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sex *TMI warning*

Most of the people reading this blog are TTC and are part of BBC.  There's a couple of people who read my blog (not sure they currently do, but they have int he past) who know me IRL.  Part of TTC has to do with sex.  It just does.  This is about some of that aspect and my personal feelings on my it.  So, feel free to read, but if you know me personally and don't really want to read this part, then feel free to skip this post.

So, yesterday was ovulation day for me.  I am now officially 1 DPO.  Yesterday morning I knew I was ovulating, I can actually feel O, which is both a blessing and a curse.  I was also "in the mood".  I figure kill two birds with one stone.  We did BD the night before, so I knew the timing was good.  To be honest I was more just "in the mood", it just coincidentally was O day.  So, I make the pass at DH and struck out.  He pulled the whole just woke up, too tired bit.  What killed me is if I'd said, I know I'm ovulating as we speak if we can do this it would be an extra good shot, he probably would have tried or at least would have def tried after he woke up a little bit more.  He knew it was "go time" as we call it, but he didn't know that yesterday morning it was happening.  I didn't want to tell him, dammit, I just wanted to sleep with my sexy husband.

Needless to say he didn't hit on me at all yesterday.  It was weird because I felt my body change throughout the day.  I had O pain in the morning, CM was wet, I was checking CM throughout the day and it became less watery and finally last night it was creamy.  My boobs went from fine, so tender, so sore by the night.  I knew last night that I was "past" ovulation.  I have never felt that in the day, this usually happens at night and I wake up with the progesterone symptoms.

Anyways, I felt very depressed all of yesterday.  I just felt undesired, like I wasn't attractive anymore.  On BBC you see  a lot of threads with "DH feels I only want to have sex at O time for a baby and he feels undesired".  Well, I'm on the opposite camp.  DH will do what needs done at the time it needs doing.  Outside of O time, not that much sex occurs.  When we have sex at O time, it's not wildly passionate or anything it's more like lets doe this for a baby.

Now, I'm not young.  I'm not an old maid, I'll be 32 next month, but c'mon, I'm a long way from 18 or 21.  Young women are associated with beauty and fertility.  Mostly fertility which is why guys are drawn to them. I'm neither, I'm not young and I'm not fertile.  Every day I become further away from both of those.  I just feel like I have no worth as a woman anymore.  He's not passionately attracted to me because I am not fertile.  At least this is how I feel. We don't do many dates, most of our "us" time is chores.  I just feel like we're friends.  The best of friends, but no passion.  It just hurts.

Now, we both work full time and live near family and spend time with friends, so I get there isn't that much time.  Sometimes you forget that piece and that's' the logical part of me that knows this.  However, right now I just feel like I'm less of a woman and I've already justified the 20 reasons why this isn't my cycle, I'm not going to be a mom, etc.  Truth is I just don't know.  This probably won't be my cycle because it's been 21 of them, so why would it be? But maybe it will.  It's a defense thing.  If I tell myself it won't work, then it won't hurt so bad when it doesn't work.  Especially considering my period is due on Thanksgiving. That's as lie too though 'cause it always hurts when it doesn't work out.  I dread the holidays this year.  My next period is actually due on my 32nd birthday and sad thing is, I really do know it will happen. However, there's always a stupid glimmer of hope and that's why it hurts so bad every time my period does come.

Anyways, I am pretty sure that all of this is in my head, but there it is and I don't know what to do about it.  Last night's convo of "you don't ever want to sleep with me", didn't go well, but might try explaining to him how it's more tied into my lack of fertility and my lack of worth.  I realize it came off like an attack on him last night.

I also know that I probably went it one big circle that makes no sense whatsoever, but I guess that's what blogging is for.  It's just me trying empty my brain with everything in it and these all the different thoughts that are in it.

If anyone actually made it through this whole pointless blob, I thank you for your support.  I'm actually amazed at the amount of people who read and support me. <3

Friday, November 9, 2012

The time has come...

Yep, O time is upon us!  I actually wasn't even sure what the date was at work yesterday.  Someone asked me and I said 13 and they said, no, I don't think so. Then I realized I was thinking CD!  LOL!  Um, like any other day besides CD or DPO matters?

Anyways, yesterday was my +OPK!  First thing in the morning after waking up late and running around like a mad woman.  I got my blood work done, acu wants E2 and LH and then got acu done.  So, lots of poking yesterday morning.  My acu was too sweet! I honestly heart this guy.  Anyways, he was asking me questions about stuff and seemed VERY happy with all my responses on CM color and consistency, said my abdomen was nice and warm (why do I always feel so cold??), was very happy to hear about some recent dietary changes, just all good.  When he felt my abdomen he says "nice and warm, now lets put a baby in there", it made me smile.  He's just so awesome!  Speaking of which, he will be doing webinars in 2013 and to kick it off, he's doing one this month 110% FREE!!!!  I'm sharing with you all:

This is awesome whether you are doing fertility treatments or doing natural, and it's FREE, so why not?

Anyways, wish me luck!  We didn't get to BD yesterday because we had dinner with friends and got home too late, but did yesterday and will tonight and depending on temp tomorrow as well.  I had my +OPK yesterday and today.

My blood results just came in: E2 is 269 and LH is 32.7.  My acu says these are "perfect". 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Be Thankful-week 1

Here are my Be Thankful posts for this week:

Day 1 - I am blessed to know so many caring people.  One of the hardest things about leaving my previous job is that most of my co-workers are the kindest most caring people ever. You just can't find that anywhere.  Thank you to all who brought me coffee.  (my friend's BIL is doing a tour in Iraq and his group is out of coffee, I was helping her collect some to send to them and my former co-workers were my main donators).

Day 2 - While people like to talk about the negative aspects, I am grateful for things like online forums and networking places because it allows me to connect with people I might not have otherwise known and help keep in touch with people I love and care about, but don't always have a chance to see.

Day 3 - (okay I felt so cheesy posting this, but it really was true yesterday) I am not kidding.  I have spent hours thinking of what to be grateful for as I was listing them all in my head.  Which do I choose today?  LOL.  In the end, I'm thankful for this, that I could actually spend hours thinking of all my blessings because I have so many.

Day 4 - Although I wish there were more days in my weekend, I am thankful to have a job to go to tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, I want a baby more than anything.  I can't explain how deep in my heart I want this child that I can see so clearly in my mind.  However, in the end of the day, I know for a fact that I wouldn't trade my life with anyone elses.  I may not have a baby, YET, but I am so blessed in so many ways.  Having a baby is the cherry on top of my life.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Castor Oil Pack

So yesterday I posted that I my castor oil came in and I was going to try a castor oil pack.  Wow, I had no idea what a treat I was in.  I thought the only purpose for one was cysts and/or endo and since I didn't have either, it didn't apply to me.  What I didn't understand is how completely and totally relaxing such a pack is.  Now, I'll admit, as I'm reading how to make one and I'm looking at it, I'm thinking, um, no.  I'm going to lay with some oil soaked rag and just ugh!  However, I am SO GLAD I tried this and I really wish I tried it sooner.  Here's a link to a video on how to make one and more info on it:

Just for the record, I didn't buy the kit.  I bought castor oil on amazon and then made the pack myself.  I also used an old pillowcase on top of the pack, not plastic and I used a heating pad and not a hot bottle of water.  Yesterday I dang near fell asleep while doing it and then all day today I felt so relaxed.  Tried it again tonight before my bath and honest to God, I can hardly keep my eyes open.  I also have a lot of insomnia, so this is just awesome.

Also, I am doing the "Be Thankful Challenge" on FB.  I'm going to post mine here every single Sunday with what I had for the week.  There will be only 4 this week since the challenge started yesterday.  I figure this is easier than doing it daily and while I was doing it on my own on FB, I was inspired to post it on this blog too due to someone else doing the same thing.  Just had to give credit that this was not my original idea.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

New Treatment Plan

So, my period came right on Saturday, well Friday afternoon, but CD 1 is considered on Saturday.  So barely an 11 day LP.  I've just been in a really, really crappy place and not having any kind of hope.  I do have an appt scheduled with the RE for 1/4/13, but I'm just depressed over it.  I had so hoped so have a natural conception with acu.  Anyways, I am giving it until the end of the year and praying for a miracle.

Had acu on Tuesday night and talked to him about the progesterone the fact that my period only had one day of flow and then only dark spotting.  Just not really good.  This cycle he wants me to repeat the estridiol lab at ovulation time and add the LH test as well. He also wants me to repeat the 7 DPO progesterone test to see those levels.  He also changed up my treatment plan some:

Multi vitamin daily (this isn't new)
B complex (this isn't new)
ProOmega-this was only added last cycle, wants me to continue with it
Liquid B12 (this isn't new)
CoQ10 (not new)
Inosotil (not new)
L-Arginine to help lining and circulation-this is new
Vitex (Chaste Tree)-started this last cycle but stopped after ovulation, he wants me to continue the whole cycle.
Custom Herbal Powder-new blend

I'm also adding castor oil packs and my castor oil arrived today.  I'm in a better place.  Not much hope this will work, but just feel the depression has been lifted, so that's good.  Of course, still praying for that miracle.