I knew better..... I started feeling the tiniest of cramps in my abdomen, it's 8 DPO, so about that time. I know exactly what's going inside of me right now, my body has realized there isn't going to be a baby even though it spend the last 8 days preparing for one and building up my uterus for it. Now the progesterone is going, oh, never mind and my lining is slowly going to break down. I can actually see it as I type this. Lab said I should have my progesterone results on Monday, so I'll post when I get them.
For some desperate reason I had a need to go to the 8 ball website where I specifically typed in the question "Will I find out I'm pregnant Thanksgiving 2012?" Naturally the answer is "my sources say no". WTF is wrong with me that I would go do that? Why deep inside is there still a shred of hope? I hate it, hate it, hate it! I just want it to go away so it won't hurt so bad when AF comes. Why, oh why, does it have to hurt so bad?? Praying again to God to please just take away my desire for a baby and let me enjoy the life I have.
This evening I'll post my week 3 of "Be Thankful". I have to admit, it gets harder and harder as the month goes on to do this, but I have to remember that even though this kills me, I still have so much to be thankful for.