Well, here I am CD 11. I typically start with OPKs on CD 10. I actually used to start right after AF since I used to O around CD 9 or 10, but since acu, that hasn't happened, so I now start CD 10 since I typically O anywhere from CD 12-15. Last few cycles it's been CD 14 or 15, so while I tested this morning, I was really expecting to see a darker line, not a screaming positive. However, that's what it was. A blaring, unmistakable + OPK at CD 11. Digi was done to confirm and it did.
My first feeling was panic. Uh, oh, am I ovulating today? I used to O on +OPK day, but this was back before acu. I freaked out on a thread I'm pretty active in and then as I was driving to work I felt calmer. I won't O today, I feel O pain, and there was none this morning. I'll O either tomorrow or Wednesday.
As those of you who've been following know, I've had a bit of a license plate obsession. Okay, I'd be lying if it was new. I've noticed them since I was a kid. However, the plethora of BFP/BFN plates is incredible right now. I started keeping track of what I saw starting CD 1 of my cycle. I'm making a game for myself to see how many BFP vs. BFN plates I see in a cycle. To me this is akin to when I'd actually pick flowers and do he loves me/loves me not with my then-boyfriend (um, he loved me, as we're married now, LOL!!) So, here's my current count: BFP = 8 and BFN = 5. My day did start with a BFP plate and ended with one too as DH and I took a walk before BD.
I don't want to have hope this will work out. This cycle will end on my birthday and I don't want to deal with my birthday OR AF, much less both of them together. However, somewhere in me there is hope. I just can't help, but have it. I know it's improbably and not likely, but it's still there. The good thing about hope is it keeps you going, the bad thing is when it doesn't work out and it crushes you.