I know a lot of people both online and in real life that have recently found out they are pregnant. All these people have one thing in common: They are all due in July. I am happy for my friends who are pregnant because the real life ones I consider to be pretty good freinds and the online ones I consider not only good freinds, but hope that even with IF there can be a tomorrow and a baby.
I have my good days and bad days. Days where I ask how things are going and want to absorb pregnancy as the outsider looking in. Then there's the bad days. The days where I just cry and cry and cry, because lets face it. In July they are all going to be mothers and where will I be? Will I even be pregnant? I have to face the honest truth that I might not be.
With the women who dealt with IF and are now pregnant, we still keep in touch becuase they don't feel part of the new club yet, they don't relate to other pregnant women yet, and while I know things will be fine for them, there's still the fear of the uncertainty 'cuase there is no control over what happens. I am confident things will progress nice though and they will feel more and more comfortable with the "other side".
So, what happens in July? What happens when they cross over from propsective moms to real mom's? I imagine if I'm pregnant since I'll be joining them soon, they will be happy to cont talking to me. What if I am not? How will they feel about me and me about them? What will happen? Will the friendship dissolve because clearly I am not joining the new club? I don't know why I'm worrired about this now, but I was talking on the phone with a friend who is due on July 4th and it just struck me. July will also be two years of TTC, though I meausure my personal count by cycles, currently on 22.
So, what about this cycle? I have no idea when I ovulated. I do know that I did. I think ti was either Monday or Tuesday. I saw my acu at 2:00pm yesterday and he could tell I'd already O'd from the warmth of my uterus. You are more than welcome to stalk the chart and share your opinion. At least since I O'd early in my cycle AF won't start on my birthday, but a couple of days into it. Maybe that's the way God intended so it won't hurt so bad.