Friday, January 11, 2013

Here we go.... cycle #24

I am currently on CD 3 and took my first Clomid pill this morning.  So far I have a headache and some hot flashes.  I am just dead tired though, so headaches might be from that, but not sure.  I am feeling pretty good about things.

Yesterday was my baseline ultrasound, I had 9 follies!! The most ever!  I know this is still very low, but for me, this was great!  No cysts or anything like that.  I am going to be fully monitored an I go in for monitoring next Thursday, CD 9, since my last Clomid pill will be CD 7.  I am really hoping and praying for at least two follies, but we'll see. AF has been great as far as AF goes.  Good flow, good color, 0 cramps (I can't believe it!!).  I just really feel like I"m off to a good start and feeling very optimistic about everything. DH had his repeat SA today too, so hoping for good news on that front as well.  All in all, feeling very optimistic.

I was kinda bad with DH though.  I was flirting, rubbing up against him, things like that last night since I knew he couldn't touch me with his SA today.  He was like "you're evil", LOL!!  I did have some fun with that, I have to admit.

I talked to the nurse about wanting to be monitored and everything and it wasn't at all a problem.  The staff has been real great, phone calls are returned, emails answered, questions answered, I feel like I get the truth when I ask questions.  They will even put me on hold to double check my file before answering my questions and I appreciate that.

I had acupuncture yesterday and caught him up on everything.  He is affiliated with my previous RE, but kept an open mind as we talked and told me that he thinks I have a great plan going and that agrees that going to IVF without having ever tried IUI probably doesn't make much sense.  He modified my supp's due to Clomid and also gave me some stuff for DH to help his counts along.

DH is feeling very upset with the previous RE, 'cause he's like had I known this a year ago we both could have taken supp's, done acu, etc and we might be parents now or at least you could be pregnant, instead we are here.  I told him I'd consider continuing to try natural, but really, with me already 32 and him 33 this month, the time just isn't there, not now.  This isn't too bad though and I hope it works out for us.  I did find myself saying things like, well next cycle we can....... and then the one after that....  and finally I told myself I need to focus on just THIS cycle and have hope that it will work.  I can plan to next ones later.

I had an interesting moment at work the other day.  I was at one of my home visits talking to a mom about the holiday went with her child.  She has two children, both with autism, I work with the younger one and only until March, when he turns 3 and starts at the school.  Anyways, she started crying.  She was telling me about her relatives who came so stay with her and brought her 18 month old who was talking and everything and she couldn't believe it.  She'd give anything for her child to talk and we spend a lot of time prompting for things he likes, such as "car".  It will take us 20-30 min. to get one "car" and this typical 18 month old was saying "car, car, car" like it was no big deal.  I felt like I could really identify, 'cause she was like and here's my child and I can't get him to do it and I don't know how or if I will.  She told me deleted her FB because she couldn't handle all the posts of what "typical" children were doing when she couldn't get her kids to do a fraction of it.  I felt a deep connection with her.  I told her I know exactly how she feels (didn't say why), but I tried comforting her and when I left I looked up all support groups in her area and sent them to her 'cause I know how hard this is alone.  I feel just like her with my IF, how do people just "have kids"?  Like it's easy? Like it just happens?  FB full of BFP announcements, bellies, things children are doing.  It kills me some days, just like her.  She was even telling me, I don't get it, I did everything right, got married, got settled, had children, etc.  Yes, I know, only too well.....  It was bittersweet to connect like that, although she doesn't know about our connection.  I know that I can't do this without the support I get though, so I think the info I sent her helped her and she texted me back a big "thank you".  I'm not sure if I described how similar it was to what I feel with IF, but hopefully anyone reading can catch the drift.

Anyways, here's to this cycle and lets hope for good things!!


  1. Great post Amber. I know what you mean. I look on facebook and see all these kids and it seems so "easy" for everyone... this is totally baffling to me. I think it's great that you could relate to your clients mother. Your empathy probably made a huge difference in her day. The ONE benefit to IF (IMO)- I think that I'm a much more empathetic person, even to people who aren't experiencing IF.

  2. I am glad your Clomid cycle is off to a picture perfect start and that your new RE is so on top of it. Double checking your file BEFORE answering questions is a good sign!

    What a powerful connection to have with that woman. Facebook is so hard for so many people. There are people who haven't even found Mr. Right who have to see all of the traveling with spouses. Then there are woman like your client who has challenging parenting roles and would love to just have a normal life. Then there are all of us infertile people being bombarded with the pregnancy announcements and family pics. I'm sure there are plenty others I'm leaving out. I love that you took the time to send her those support groups. It's acts of kindness like yours that can truly change someone's life. I don't know what I'd do without you ladies as support either!

  3. Sounds like this cycle is off to a great start. I like that they are on top of their job and keeping you in the loop. You are the best for sending that woman info. I actually reached out to my co-worker and apologized for the other lady's insensitive comment. It felt good to know she appreciated. Hoping this cycle goes good and you have a great response.

  4. I am really hoping that things go great this cycle! I'm glad you've had such a good experience with the new office and I hope that good things continue to happen there. I can totally see why you'd want to do IUI before jumping to IVF and I'm glad your acu is on board with the plan too. So hoping this is it!