I have been on Metformin for about a week now. At first I was mildly nauseous throughout the day with intermittent stomach pains. I was started off on 500 mg with an increase every three days. Yesterday was my first increase to 1500 mg. Not sure what the deal is, but last night all night I had the worst stomach cramps and pains ever. I hardly slept at all and even this morning my stomach is killing me. It's going to be such a long day.
Also, while I'm trying to be optimistic, I just don't have it in me. I just feel like nothing is going to work. I feel like I will never, ever see the two lines on an hpt. I just feel like I'm doing all of this for nothing. Also, with starting injectibles next cycle, I am fully aware that I am now starting to come towards the end of my journey. You only do a couple of cycles and then you are faced with IVF. I have no idea how on earth I'd pay for IVF and even then, it's a chance, not a guarantee. I just feel helpless right now and like I have no control. I feel angry that I'm even here, in this place. I feel bitter about it as well as just sad. I feel like my husband and I are good people, why? Why do I turn on the news to see people kill their children beat their children, rape their children, etc. Why do they have babies and where is mine? I am not perfect. I will make mistakes, but God, I will love that baby with all my heart.
Okay, enough of that. So, my main diagnosis is called DOR and there is a lot of controversy on what it is, what it means, etc. I found this video on pinterest and I think it explains really well what it is and how it affects fertility, etc. Anyways, if anyone is interested, here it is: http://pinterest.com/pin/153544668517660505/
Last, but not least. I applied for a really great job last Wednesday. It is in my field of interest, has amazing hours (7-3), close to where I live, and best of all, complete IF coverage! Including IVF. I know it's a long shot for me to get this job since the requirements were a little vague (though I did meet them) and even the description was too. I would absolutely love to work here though, so if I culd have some prayers, it would be great.