Saturday, March 16, 2013

And it starts.....

I've had a pretty nerve wracking week.  I had the weirdest LP.  No cramping, no sore boobs, no nothing.  My period was due on Wed and it came and went with no sign.  My temps were low and I knew I was out of the game, but had no idea what was happening.  Sure, I tested for the hell of it, but I wasn't too broken up over the BFNs.  It's funny, but sometimes you don't really know how you feel about something until you are "tested".  I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant  but when I saw the BFN and wasn't even upset I knew then that I really had no hope in my heart that last cycle would work.  Likewise on the cycles where I cry my heart out, I realized I had held out hope, I had expected it to work.  So, yesterday I get up, nothing, no cramps, no nothing again.  I get dressed, makeup, ready for work.  I go pee and bam AF!  I was actually jumping for joy at this point, so we're ON!  CD 1 officially started yesterday.  I know I posted my calendar earlier, but it's really a guess.  The plan is set until the first ultrasound and then from there it just depends on what they see and what the blood work tells them.  So, here are the first steps:

Sunday-Thursday is 5 mg of Femara at night
Wednesday I start my first injection, I will do Gonal F 150 units on Wed and Thurs.
Friday is my first ultrasound at 11:00 am and we'll see from there.  I am praying and hoping for at least 3-4 follies.  My E2 will be taken that day as well.  I am supposed to start 150 units of Bravelle and 75 units of Repronex on Friday, but they will call me that afternoon/evening with instructions.

Yesterday I met with the nurse again since I was freaking out over injections to go over everything once more. She re-explained everything and then asked me questions to make sure I understood.  I showed her all the needles that I had and she noticed I needed more of one size, so she said they had plenty of extra and gave it to me for free.  How awesome is that?  She gave me a whole bag of needles and mixing tabs and stuff.  She said for me to contact her again if I needed to, but I am feeling okay about it now and more excited and less freaked out.

Another good thing that happened yesterday is our taxes are done!!!  I had a foreclosure on a house in a different city.  Long story, but we were screwed when it was sold to us with a bad foundation and we were unable to sell it.  We rented it and then a year ago a tornado, I kid you not, went right through the back yard, not near it, through it.  It damaged many, many things and insurance played games with us and wouldn't help pay for certain damages.  Then the bank refused to give us an equity loan since we decided we'd just fix everything and sell it.  Anyways, our accountant fixed everything for us AND got a pretty sizable return.  Enough that I can afford a second injectibles cycle if needed, so I feel good that I have at least two solid chances.  I may have a third depending on if I have any meds left over or not, but bridges to cross later.

Also, I am going to remain positive throughout this cycle.  I honestly don't know if this will work or not.  I have a good chance of it working and not working, but right now I'm "all in".  I plan to stay positive because if it doesn't work, I'll have to deal with the sadness of it all anyways  so why start now when there is hope that this CAN work?  I know some days will be harder than others, but for today, for right now I am optimistic.  I am going to believe that cycle #27 will be the one!

5 comments:

  1. Glad your second lesson with the nurse helped so much and you are more at ease now. Yay for the tax return! whoop whoop for the dollar bills!!

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  2. It makes me so happy to hear you so optimistic. I know that once you go through so much for so long, it's so much easier to assume nothing is going to work, so when I hear someone who has been through so much get excited about a new cycle, it makes my heart happy.

    I'm so glad the nurse was helpful and that you feel more confident about all the injections. I know that was a huge relief to you to get it all straightened out. Can't wait to hear updates along the way!

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  3. I love your optimistic view. It can be hard to feel joy after so many disappointments so for you to feel excited makes my heart melt. Hoping that your injections go smoothly and you get 3-4 follies. =)

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  4. Amber, I am so excited for you to get started on this sycle. I like the sound of lucky cycle #27! You will be in my thoughts and prayers daily. This IS going to work!!!

    Hugs,
    Kara

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