I did email the nurse coordinator and asked I if I could bring her all my needles to see which ones to use for what. I am just really and honestly scared right now. I am not afraid of needles themselves actually. That's never been a problem. I am scared of the mixing of putting it in the needle wrong of injecting wrong and of messing this up. I want to feel peace and all I feel is fear and terror over this. I hope it works, I hope I don't mess up. I don't know what I'm going to do if this doesn't work. I don't know how to make this baby happen anymore.
My mind won't stop. I am going to try having some tea and a bath and maybe I can have some peace in my heart for just a little bit.