Monday, May 27, 2013

My last Re visit

Last Wed, I was 10w0d and I had my very last RE appt.  This was both very exciting and sad for me.  Exciting because things are going well. I am very, very lucky that everything has gone so well.  Sad because this was the first doctor to truly listen to me and try something for me and not for his pocketbook.  At every step he tried to accommodate me.  He listened to everything I said about my own body and used that information to help me become pregnant.  I was monitored appropriately at every step.  His whole clinic and staff has just been amazing and I feel so lucky to know these people.

My RE performed the last u/s himself and spent a lot of time with it.  I got to hear and see the heartbeat again and was still measuring at a steady 176 beats per minute.  I also got to get a 3d ultrasound of the baby, which was great to see.  I measured 10w1d that day.  He talked to me a bit about cord blood banking and said that he plans on doing a lot with it and will have his own cord blood center by the time the baby is born, so I'll look into that when the time is closer.  My OB retired between me starting to TTC and actually succeeding, so he recommended an OB to me.  He and his staff let me know I could always call them for questions.

Below are some of the pics from my ultrasound:

I don't even know how to describe how amazing this ultrasound was.  While all of them have been great, this was the best one.  The baby danced for my husband and I and we could see arms, legs, and even a few fingers and toes as they were moving.  It was incredible to see and it finally became real at that very moment that I am really going to be a mom.  This baby is going to make it and I am absolutely the luckiest most blessed person for this.  Why did God allow this miracle to happen I will never know, but I will be forever grateful.  I cannot wait for my other friends in IF purgatory to get theirs too.  It just felt magical and I am so in love.  I am also scared.  Scared of not being the parent this miracle deserves.  Scared of messing up or doing something wrong.  I just hope I can live up to being a mom.

When I got home I called up the new OBs office.  I was told to come in the very next day for bloodwork and a meeting with the nurse.  The nurse was awesome!  She has books, pamphlets, hospital info, pediatrician info  It was great, but also overwhelming, but I just felt I was in good hands.  She took her time with me, answered all my questions, and everything.  They took a TON of blood from me, but that's nothing I'm not used to, lol.  I will meet the actual OB for the first time on Friday the 31st.  I will be 11w2d then.  Not sure if he will do an u/s or just do the doppler or just talk to me.  I hope I like him though.

All in all things are going great!  I only have two more acu sessions until I am 32 weeks.  I cannot believe it.  I am going to miss him, but I promised to come by and visit.  While I haven't had any symptoms this pregnancy, I have had severe exhaustion.  To the point where I am dangerous on the road and that is not good when I drive 50-100 miles a day for my job.  There have even been a few days where I drove over 100 miles.  He listened to me and also about the leg cramping and gave me an iron supplement.  OMG, that has made all the difference!  I have much more energy.  I still get tired, but nothing like before.  Lately I've had some insomnia too, which isn't helping the being tired issue.

However, I am not complaining about anything.  I will gladly take it all and more.  I really just feel very, very blessed right now.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

I want to send you Mother's Day love to all my fellow TTCers out there.  Those of you who are still struggling, praying, and giving everything you have just for the chance to become pregnant I say you are already a mother.  Just like a good mother does, you are already doing everything you can for your baby even though at this point they are not here.  The love you have is stronger than any cord anyone could imagine.  The faith and belief is always there in the background even when failure shakes it and makes it waver.  Please know that I am thinking of you with all my heart today and saying a prayer for an easy day with as much peace as you can have on this day.  If I could be granted one wish for you all, is that this is the last mother's day you EVER have to feel the pain of infertility.  Much love to you all!

For those of you expecting your LO or have recently given birth, I hope you have a great day and take a moment to remember what it was like before you got there and say a prayer to our sisters still in this struggle.  I believe we are all united and stand together no matter what part of the journey we've reached.

My friend posted this on her FB a few days ago and I loved it and wanted to share it:

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

8 week visit

I honestly cannot believe that I've made it to 8 weeks.  I've been feeling very anxious in the past week with an increase in anxiety to closer it came to today.  I still feel "okay".   I am exhausted  but I kind of run a crazy schedule.  I have waves of nausea, but just enough to make me think I might be imagining it.

Well, today's appointment could not have gone more perfect.  I am 8w0d today and the baby measured a little ahead at 8w2d.  The heartbeat was a perfect 176, you can't ask for better at all.  Very strong heart.  I am feeling that this is real and finally feeling like this is going to be okay.  I really am going to meet this baby come December.  I feel so lucky I cannot even explain it.  I want so bad for my fellow friends with infertility to get their BFPs and come to this side.  However, I know your turn is coming soon and I can't wait.  I am following you guys still and will continue to do so.

Anyways, here's the latest pic.  I cannot believe how much this baby has grown in only two weeks.  No wonder I'm so exhausted!  My final appointment with my RE is on 5/22/13.  He will do my last scan and give me files and release me to the OB.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Happy Birthday Chase

Dear Chase,

Today you would have been 19 years old.  I also called you my party cat since your birthday was on Cinco de Mayo.  You've been gone for 20 months now and I can't believe that either.  Every single day, I think of you.  I still remember what it felt like to touch your fur and hear your purr.  You had a musical purr like none other.  You made my heart smile every time I looked at you.  Now I carry you every day in my heart.  I know you were there for me when I got pregnant and even while I was trying and struggling.  That cycle had your name all of it from the waiter named Chase the first day of injections to the IUI being exactly 18 months since we said goodbye.  I just want you to know how I will never forget you and how much you mean to me and I'm not sure that this post can capture all the love I feel in my heart and the sadness that you are gone.  I love you Chase!  Happy Birthday!