Saturday, November 23, 2013

From one extreme to the other...

I went to my weekly OB appt last Thursday.  I was the last appt of the day.  I'd been having cramping and off and on contractions all week.  Pretty much I felt like I was going to start AF any second this whole week.  This was my first appt with my OB in quite a while.  Due to him being out of town and then all my back and forth to the hospital I hadn't been able to have a regular appt with him since all of this started.

So, he does a cervical check and to my amazement, he tells me I'm only 1 cm dilated and 10% thinned out.  Um, WHAT???????  I was hospitalized not that long ago, had countless drugs put through my body-my daughter's body.  I was on bed rest, I had to miss work, I've been through hell and back with everything and fear this whole month of November and you want to tell me I'm only dilated 1 cm at 36 weeks?

So, I'm in a lot of confusion and not 100% thinking straight.  So after he gives me the info, this is the convo:

Him: You are only dilated 1 cm and maybe 10% effaced.  Perfect for 36 weeks.
Me: Um, that's not what the hospital told me.
Him: What did the hospital tell you?
Me: That I'm 4 cm and 75% thinned out.
Him: Kinda chuckles, well I've only been doing this for 26 years, so maybe I don't know what I'm doing.
Me: I'm not saying you're not right, I'm saying this is what I was told.  (my mind is racing) I was hospitalized, put on magnesium, why?
Him: Well, if we suspect possible early labor and there's regular contractions we might put someone on magnesium for about 30 minutes.
Me: No, this wasn't 30 minutes.  I was admitted, I had magnesium in my IV for 48 hours, I had two steroid injections..
Him: Well, if we suspect early labor then we want to keep the magnesium going to give the steroid shots to protect the baby.

Then he scheduled me for Wed, the day before Thanksgiving, and said he'd do another check.  He never rushes me from appts, but he did that day and I was very, very confused.  I was also very upset, again, a lot of drugs have gone through my body this month, plus all the bed rest.  I've only now returned to work.

I did some research and posted on my boards and it turns out that the drugs and bed rest can shrink your cervix back.  Also, in general this can happen to some women, so in my case this seems to be exactly what happened.  My body went back to where it should be for 36 weeks.

On one hand I'm very grateful that my daughter won't be a preemie, on the other hand, now what?  Do I need to go back to acu?  Do I need to start doing other stuff to prep my body for labor?  Will this mean I'll end up needing an induction or c-section since my body randomly changes itself?  I don't know where to go from there-again.

Also, I'm just scared and freaked out.  I don't trust doctors, hospitals, nothing.  I'm half thinking of just having her at home, but I know I can't risk anything of the sort.  Too late to find a midwife or a natural alternative.  I just know it's not safe, it's not okay until she's in my arms, alive, breathing, healthy.


  1. I've heard of retroverting back- sounds like baby girl has decided to stay put! Great news and thinking of you and can't wait for you to meet Kate Lyn!