Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Family tragedy

I want to apologize for not keeping up with my comments.  I've been reading and blog stalking here and there, but have been unable to comment, though I'm working on getting there.

Thursday was a good day, went to the OB, found out I was now dialated to a full 4 cm and cervix 80% thinned out.  Back to the verge of active labor, great news for a 38w2d.  The OB even thought this last weekend she might come, but it was looking good.  Weight, blood pressure, Katy's heartbeat, etc, nothing could be better.

Two hours after this appointment I hear from my sister-my dad is not doing well.  He was found unconscious that morning and the ambulance took him to the ER.  The ER was sending him to ICU.  He was septic and unresponsive, and possibly/probably had MRSA as well.  My sister promised to keep me updated.  A few hours after that the hospital called my sister and told her you probably want to come up today, it's not looking good.  Now, my dad is king of pulling a rabbit out of a hat.  We used to joke he had more lives than any cat I ever met, or heck even all of them put together.  He had so many health issues the fact that he was still alive was a medical marvel in itself.  He loved life and no matter what was happening to him, he loved to joke around.  He had a major surgery this past July and we were all so sure he was going to pass at that time, he needed his entire large intestine reconstructed since it died.  He not only survived, but when he woke up he was bitching about his liquid diet and wanting food.  Only my dad!

Anyways, the hospital is about an hr. and a half to two hours from me-in good traffic.  I could have my baby at any minute.  My sister didn't want me to make the trip if I didn't have to.  She told me she'd go check it out and keep me updated.  They decided to take him down for testing, we're now late at night on Thursday.  His heart stopped on his way to get x-ray/cat scan.  They were able to restart it and get him back to his room..... for 10 minutes.  His heart stopped again and they tried for a long time to revive him, but couldn't.  He was pronounced dead at 3:35 am on 12/6/13.  Unfortunately my sister had to handle the brunt of it and it kills me she was in that hospital alone, even though she's an RN nurse, and having to make the call that they've done all they could it was time to let go.

It's been a roller coaster and me praying that my daughter holds tight until after the funeral.  I had some big contractions over the weekend, but no labor.  We've been trying to get everything situated at the same time as handling our emotions and everyone treating me like I'm breakable due to being this far along.  His death has been hard for me because I had unresolved issues.  My life was a made-for-tv movie and my relationship with him wasn't so good at the end.  I have guilt over our last conversation.  I have so many mixed emotions and feelings and things I need to sort from.  I did love my dad-very much.  This is why it's all been so hard for me.  The funeral is today at 2:00 pm.

All day yesterday I had major cramping in my back and since midnight tonight it's gotten a lot worse.  I don't know if this is just normal for me, or if this is a sign that she's on her way soon.  I really hope she can give me today, but she is a blessing and I don't believe a bad time exists for her arrival.  My next OB appt is this Friday if she hasn't arrived by then.

7 comments:

  1. I am so terribly sorry about your dad. The timing is awful and I'm thinking of you this week. I know that he knows how much you loved him and will be watching over you and Katy. Sending you so much love.

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  2. Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family. XO

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  3. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I will be praying for you and your family. And that baby girl holds on a little bit longer.

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  4. I am so sorry about your Dad. My Grandmom had an end like that. She had planned her funeral 3 times prior because she was told she would die. She survived severe diabetes, cancer, 3!! triple bypass surgeries and a quad bypass and a stroke. When she finally died I couldn't find someone to cover my shift at work and was planning on going to see her after work, when I got the call that she passed. I immediately fell to the ground and cried and felt horrible for not taking it "seriously". I can't imagine what it must feel like to have been on the outs before the passing. I don't have a relationship with my Mom and I think of this senerio often. I am so sorry that you are facing this. I hope that you are able to attend his funeral and Katy waits for her Mama to have that final moment.xoxoxo

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  5. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
    I'm sure your dad knew you loved him.
    You'll be in my thoughts.

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  6. I am so sorry to read this update Amber. :( I'm glad though that you got time with him, even if it wasn't with him being healthy these past several months. No matter what kind of relationship you have with a father growing up, it's always hard losing a parent, and I know it has got to hurt right now. I am just so grateful that everything's going well with your pregnancy and that you have new life on it's way. At least that hole in your heart will now be filled. :) I know your dad will be there on the big day, congratulating you and kissing Katy on the forehead!

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