Sunday, January 19, 2014

Wow! One month?

I can't believe that just over a month ago my precious girl was born.  In some ways it seems like I've always been her mom, that she's always been here and on the other hand, is this really real?

So, how's it going?  It's going pretty good for the most part.  She is an amazing and wonderful baby.  At this stage she sleeps most of the time and this is what she did easily the first 3 weeks.  She woke up about every 2-2.5 hours exactly to be fed and changed, but otherwise she slept.  At week 3, things changed a little bit.  Something happens to my princess early evening somewhere around 6:30ish, where she has a harder time falling asleep and she cries a lot more, it increases until the dreaded 2:00 am mark.  At 2:00 am, it is very hard to recognize that she is the same baby I know during the day.  She can't sleep, she screams, she won't eat, just nothing makes her happy.  She is extremely upset and not much can be done.  I've held and rocked her for a while leading up to 2:00 am and a bit after before finally falling asleep.  It seems everything I do made it worst, not better, until a conversation with my sister.  I was describing my amazing baby to her and saying how I'm lucky she doesn't have Colic or anything like that.  Then I was describing the night and she goes, um, sounds like Colic to me.  Colic?  I thought Colic was your baby screaming all the time and never stopping.  Turns out I was wrong, Dr. Google says Colic is crying even when all your needs are met (so no apparent reason) for at least 3 hours a day for 3 weeks.  It happens around the same time each night-for her leading up to 2:00 am.  Hmmm.....  Now what?  Well, threads, forums, and women who've come before me said, stop stimulating her so much.  The "soothing" I'm doing for hours isn't helping, you need to leave her be.

To hear my baby cry, breaks my heart.  I want to go hold her and give her the world.  Unfortunately, with Colic, I'm doing worse by holding her so much.  The new plan is we swaddle and lay her down.  She has 10 minutes to calm down if she's crying, if 10 minutes has passed and still crying, then I go back in and rock her, offer more food, try to burp, etc to make sure he's okay, then I try again with the sleep.  So far in the past few days since I've discovered this, only twice did she go above the 10 minute mark and once I went in there and resettled her, the crying stopped.  The nights are much better, she is sleeping more and is happier.  It takes her on average 4-6 minutes to stop crying.  If the crying is bad, like she is screaming, I go in immediately.  I don't want to overstimuate her, but I don't want her to suffer, to think no one's there, etc.  I love this little girl.  Luckily Colic tends to go away by 8-12 weeks and we'll be 5 weeks tomorrow.

I am very lucky, a lot of parents have children with Colic that is much worse.  I've seen much worse, which is why I didn't think she had it.  I love holding her, gazing at her, I could stare at her for hours-and I do.  The worst part is that my maternity leave is quickly coming to an end-only 3 more weeks.  I am leaving her with my mom, so at least that's good, but my heart breaks that I have to go back to work.  I wish financially I could afford to only work part-time, but I can't.  At least I work in a school district and my hours aren't so bad and I have frequent breaks/vacations.

On January 16th, I saw my OB for my 1 month postpartum visit.  I talked to him about TTC #2 right away.  He said I should be fine in a couple of months-that he wants to do some bloodwork at my next appt to check my hormone levels and if everything looks good I can try again right away.  My stitches have not fully healed, I had a pretty good tear, so no nooky with the hubby right now, he said not until right before my next appointment.  Not great news for my husband, lol.  Otherwise everything is going great.  CD 1 was yesterday, so my body seems to have returned itself back to normal.  I will be temping and using OPKs this cycle to see if I O, even though it's an "off" cycle.  Hoping next one will start TTC again.  I honestly don't think I can conceive naturally, but I plan to try anyways and then see the RE this summer, mid to late summer if nothing.

My biggest fear, before infertility, was postpartum depression.  In the past I've been prone to depression and I was pretty sure this would happen.  Women with infertility often have a higher risk of postpartum depression due to being a normal exhausted new mom who's overwhelmed with a newborn and also then dealing with the fact that you wanted a baby more than anything and some days it just gets hard, you feel guilt.  I am very lucky-not even a hint of the baby blues.  I have been myself since day 1 and none of that has been any issue at all.  I am tired and exhausted, but happy and seriously, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So, here's some baby pictures!!  Here's her official one month photo:

Her professional newborn pics came in to.  I just finished doing her birth announcements, so hopefully those are in soon so I can mail them out.  Here's some of my favorites from her newborn shoot at 4 days old:


  1. Those pics! I'm just speechless. She is beautiful!

    I'm glad you proved yourself wrong about the PPD, and I hope that your body heals and snaps back into it's normal rhythm with record speed so you can start TTC'ing again. Who knows....maybe you'll be one of those woman who does get pregnant naturally after fertility treatments. It could happen!

  2. Her newborn pics are just gorgeous! I love them! I'm so glad that you haven't had PPD, and although the colic is definitely rough, I think she's lucky to have such a great mama who is doing such a great job :)

  3. She is so gorgeous!

    The colic will get better. I felt like the majority of my maternity leave was dealing with the crying All. the. time! But it got better each week and was hugely improved by 3 months.

    Also, I dreaded going back to work as well...however, I have learned to love my job even more than before. I enjoy having a life outside the home...but also LOVE going home at night to see my baby!

    1. Thank you so much! It's been stressful and work has been a huge concern so I really appreciate the input and support.

  4. She's precious. Congrats on your baby girl.

  5. She's beautiful. So very happy for you. xoxo