I want to start off by thanking everyone who left me comments yesterday. I cried as I read all of them. Thank you all so much. I'm not sure why I'm so crazy right now. I think it's a mixture of this pill I'm on for the prolactin, the hormones from the injections and Femara, and as a good friend pointed out, probably some PTSD thrown in there from just this journey.
I feel guilty and selfish for feeling the way that I do. I feel guilty anytime I talk to someone still struggling for their first that it's painful trying for a second. I don't ever forget what it was like to not have a child. It still hurts though and it's a continuation from before, not a new one. I can't wait for the day when all the IFers I know are holding their babes in their arms.
So, thank you, thank you, for the continued love and support you've given me. I've also been struggling with extreme anxiety for months and I'm at a loss as to what to do about it. It's getting really bad to the point of constant eye twitches and I'm feeling neurotic. It started shortly after I had Katie and has intensified since going to work. I feel like she could be gone from any second or that I'll wake up and it will be a dream. I hate that I have to work instead of being home with her. It's complicated and I'm just trying to figure it out myself, but I think it's a whole bunch of stuff that's leading to all the emotions I have now.
Okay, now for the IUI. I'm going to take this as a good omen.
Total count: 33 million
Washed/IUI count: 11 million
The BFP cycle from before was also an IUI count of 11 million. The IUI was also done by the same person as before and she remembered us and from doing it the first time and assured me my chances of this working were quite good. I was glad to see her and glad to have the assurance.
My beta is 2/10. I'll be testing out the trigger starting this weekend and will cancel the beta if it's a BFN. I start progesterone Thursday night.
Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the love and support.