Monday, January 26, 2015

Last follie check

I'm sitting here crying.  Nothing about this cycle is going well.  I feel the whole thing is a bust.  Yes, anything can happen, but......

I feel so alone this round.  The first round my IF support was around me.  Now, it's just me.  Those still struggling with primary IF are not so supportive and I don't blame anyone.  After all, I had a baby.  Those with secondary doesn't support me either, after all, the baby was born 13 months ago. I'm all alone facing the same battle that started back in 2011.  I never, ever realized what it would be to try and have two children.  I'm just crying and crying because I've learned a few things about my body that I didn't know before.

When I compared the March 2013 cycle, I saw that I had 3 mature follies.  In reality that was only one egg.  My e2 levels were only 294.  I was beyond lucky the one egg was Katie.  It looks like I have empty follies and I'm wondering if this always occurs.  My body acts like it's ovulating, but it's empty.  Nothing in there.

For my own records, here's bee the protocol this round.

CD 3-7 Femara
CD 6-7 Gonal F 75 iu, Menopur 75 iu
CD 8-10 Gonal F 150 iu, Menopur 75 iu

I have 3 follies and 2 eggs
Left: 29.5 mm follie (empty)
Right: 20 mm and 18 mm follies

My lining today has gone down from a 10 to an 8.  My LH rose and I'm starting to ovulate now.  I'm supposed to trigger tonight just to make sure both eggs are released and not just one.  The IUI is set for tomorrow instead of Wed to make sure we don't miss it completely because I'm already Oing.

I just feel sad and empty and like breaking down crying.  I AM grateful and so happy to have the little girl that I have.  She is precious and perfect in every single way.  I thank my lucky stars every single day, even the hard ones.  I just wish I can give her a sibling.  I hope one of these eggs can be it.  Hope, but don't expect.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you've felt so unsupported!! You should continue to update what's going on with your cycle in our thread. Doesn't matter that it's not DE's We've continued to support everyone regardless and have remained active in that thread. You shouldn't feel like you should have any less supportive regardless of this being primary or secondary infertility. It's still the same. And should be treated as such. I'm having babies, but still just as infertile as ever. So I completely get it. Sending you so much love and good wishes for you this cycle. I hope one of those eggs are truly Katie's sibling. (I had empty follicles too during my IVF)

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  2. I'm here reading too! Thinking good thoughts for you and hoping this is it for you!!!

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  3. I feel do sad you feel alone and unsupported. I'm rooting for you and I hope you know that. I have been such a bad commenter lately. I blame my new iPhone. I hate typing on this thing. It's too big and clunky. Haha. Sorry, my attempt to make you laugh. This infertility journey sucks no matter what point you are at. Sending good vibes Nd hoping your tears mean hormones and actually are a good thing!!! Sending love.

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  4. I've not been reading anyone for a few days, but I am here! I am also starting treatments again after having my son (who is 12 months). It's a different world trying for #2. Good luck!

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  5. I'm still here rooting for you. I'm sorry u are feeling alone. Regardless if it's number one or two we are here to support u.

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  6. I'm rooting for you! I've been reading along but I just can't remember all the stuff from my IUI's or IVF. I remember having good follies at 20 and I remember having 24 with IVF and most of them were around 18-22.

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