Thursday, June 4, 2015

Meditation

I received this amazing book today from a dear friend of mine, Farra. I think I could really use something like this to help me and I started on it tonight.


I think the June 4th page was the right page for me because cry I did.  Crying for my twins, crying for my daughter, crying for my husband, and crying for myself.  Crying because more than anything I wanted them.  I pictured all 3 of them together, playing, fighting, annoying the crap out of me and I loved it.  I loved what they would add to my world.  Crying because I thought I was done with infertility.  Even though I'll always be an infertile, I thought I was past the stage of trying for my family.  Crying because I feel so much guilt and hate within myself.  Crying because this sucks.


To everyone who's commented and reached out, thank you.  I do read the comments and it means so much to me that you guys care.  

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