I think the June 4th page was the right page for me because cry I did. Crying for my twins, crying for my daughter, crying for my husband, and crying for myself. Crying because more than anything I wanted them. I pictured all 3 of them together, playing, fighting, annoying the crap out of me and I loved it. I loved what they would add to my world. Crying because I thought I was done with infertility. Even though I'll always be an infertile, I thought I was past the stage of trying for my family. Crying because I feel so much guilt and hate within myself. Crying because this sucks.
To everyone who's commented and reached out, thank you. I do read the comments and it means so much to me that you guys care.