Wednesday was a low for me, but Thursday and Friday I've felt okay. Yesterday I started to feel peace and today I woke up feeling very calm and peaceful. I'm going to enjoy it and think of it as a gift from my children. I'm trying to focus on the happy and what I had with them. The memories I'll continue to have with them, like the prayer flag I'll be making in their memory.
I'm excited to participate in this even, although I have no clue what I'm going to make or say or anything. I just trust it will come to me.
I appreciate all the input through comments, messenger, PANs, etc about how I'm feeling and whether or not to TTC. I'll make my final decision when I get closer to that cycle. I'm still waiting for AF and then I'll be doing the testing, so right now I'm looking to do treatment end of Aug/early Sept at the earliest, which puts me at 3 months after my loss. I know part of my anxiety and grieving is for the future as well as what I lost. I desperately want to give my daughter a sibling.
You have no idea how much the love and support means to me. Although I'm mostly "hiding out", I actually need it more than ever right now. I was so lost at the beginning it all seemed unreal and overwhelming. Now it's reality.