Thursday, October 15, 2015

Wave of Light 10/15

I lit the candles on the memorial shelf for Emma and Chase.  This is the first time I've lit their candles.  Their EDD is 10/20 and I will light them again then.

I lit this one in honor and memory of all the babies gone too soon. Thinking of everyone with an angel baby and wishing they were in the their arms instead.  I'll never forget last year lighting a candle and thinking about everyone I knew who had a loss.  I never imagined a year later I'd find myself among them. At least I know my angels are in the best company I could ask for, if they can't be with me.

I thought this would be harder tonight.  I thought I'd be crying and breaking with every piece of me.  Instead I feel peace and love.  I'd like to think it's my babies looking down on me and telling me it's okay.  It wasn't my fault and they are okay and they are always with me.  It's what I want to believe and I hope is true.  All I know for sure is right now I feel a lot of peace.  

1 comment:

  1. Amen!! It WAS not your fault and your babies 100% know that. I'm glad Jude and Brinly are with your loves.

    Gosh, when I was pregnant with the twins, I remember posting on Oct 15 for my one and only super early miscarriage. At the time I thought losing a baby at 5 weeks was the worst thing that could possibly happen, but I was thankful to be baking the healthy twins. My freaking water broke 7 days after Oct 15, all to lose Brinly Oct 30 and Jude Nov 17. Oct 15 is a sad sad day, but I'm glad we have a special day to remember them a little bit more, share their names, and light a candle.