I can't stop thinking about them tonight. Today has been a hard day. I started emotionally okay, but it's gotten worse and worse. I want to cry, but the tears won't come. I miss them so much right now it hurts deep. Every night now for over six months, it's the same question, the same prayer. Please, please a sign that they are okay. A dream, anything. I'm doubting myself tonight. Do they hate me? Was I wrong to try and let go of the guilt? Am I selfish? Letting go of the guilt only benefits me and changes nothing for them. I'm hurting right now. I miss them.
I couldn't sleep last night and I'm exhausted. I need to sleep and not sure I can. So much on my mind right now, mostly pain and fear. I'm praying for peace. I need something. I hope I get it.