Yesterday when I tested, my wondfo looked a tad lighter and I tried an OPK, which was negative. I had one EPT I was saving for today (beta day). This morning I peed on everything.
The scariest thing about the bleeding was the timing of it all. Monday was 8 months to the day since I lost Emma. The week before I lost her, I was at work doing my stuff. I had to pee and when I went to the bathroom I was bleeding and I freaked out and we know what happened a week later.
So, here I am. 8 months later at that same building having to pee in that same bathroom and blood. Sheer terror struck me and I couldn't stop crying in my office.
Exactly one year ago today I conceived Emma and Chase. I remember that IUI. I remember wearing my Katie necklace and hoping we'd make her a big sister and we did. Now I've made Emma and Chase older siblings as well. They are now my middle children.
Without further ado, I bring you beta #1 83. I'll be honest, I'm scared, nervous, and worried. My last two pregnancies were much higher than this. The doubling is what matters, I know that. I just can't help and be scared. Everything scares me right now. Everything.