Sunday, January 24, 2016

Medicated Cycle Results

Today I'm 11 dpiui.  Today I am pregnant.  I wasn't sure and I've one back and forth on are the lines getting darker?  Darker enough?  I'm terrified right now.  I keep thinking everything is a sign that I'm not pregnant or I'm having a loss.  I'm also happy and excited to be pregnant, but I feel guilty, so guilty.  I feel ashamed that I want this baby.  I feel bad that I will do better for this baby, things that might've saved Emma and Chase.

The BFP won't show up on a digi yet, but I'll do one before my beta.  This leads  me to my beta.  My beta is Wednesday 1/27. A year ago on that date I had my IUI, that's when I conceived Emma and Chase. There's a lot mixed in there with that.

I told DH today.  Katie is OBSESSED with Barney.  This is one of the songs that comes on a lot. 

I had Katie paint this and I added the words and Katie and I have it to DH today since ti's his birthday.  He's ecstatic.

I'm having so many thoughts and feelings and they all contradict each other.  I'm trying to go one moment at a time.  I'm still in counseling and I'll tell her tomorrow and that should help.

To everyone who's been there, your support, your prayers, everything have meant so much.  I'm still going to need them.  I want to post more, but I'm honestly just everywhere right now.  


  1. Such complicated feelings...but so hoping and praying this is your rainbow.

  2. Take the time to process your emotions don't be so hard on yourself. I think a congratulations is in order. Praying for you.

  3. One moment at a time is all you can do. It's also ok to have all these feelings. This post made me smile so big!

  4. OUR herbal medication will cure any inch of your Fibroid, OK. When take our herbal medication to cure Fibroid and any other Infertility, You must not be going out very far from Your House because it will only be making you to visit toilet in passing out the Fibroid gradually …We also specialise in providing solutions in any of this spiritual gynaecology diseases affect human existence such as:
    1 fibroid, asthma, ALL STD, Urine tract infection, sinus infection, unexplain miscarriage, fibromyalgia.
    2 weakness of man organ (Herbal cure for Weak Erection….
    3 infections of all kind (yeast infection)
    4 blockage from the fallopian tube, Herbs to untied your Womb
    5 cyst. From the ovaries,PCOS
    6 unpleasant smell from the virginal, Herbal to prevent stroke
    7 irregular menstration, menopause
    8 infertility for easy Conception. diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
    10.Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
    Simply contact the spiritualist PriestEka on ( to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
    (No more adoption, with PriestEka your problem will solve and you will have your child with ease.
    Contact us at ( your solution home!