I called my REs office this morning and my RE was able to see me today. Unfortunately, things haven't changed. Ivy hasn't grown at all and definitely didn't have a heartbeat. My RE and I talked and I decided to go with cytotec. He wants to do an ultrasound after to make sure my uterus is clear. I don't have the emotional strength to drop the script off or pick it up, since I've heard the stories of abortion comments from pharmacy staff. No matter my opinion on abortion, this is a missed miscarriage, not an abortion. I'd love to be refilling progesterone, not cytotec, but this is what it is and I can't change it.
After the physical part is done, I guess I'll make the world happy and go on my stupid little happy pills, because apparently it's not okay to grieve and it's not okay to be sad when bad shit happens to you. No, being sad means you must need a pill, right? Seems to be all I hear from people anyways. Struggling, take a fucking pill. Well, fine, I'll take all the fucking pills and everyone can be happy to see that I am "okay".