Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day WITH all my children

Tom Zuba did it again. I needed the right words for this Mother's Day. The words that would help me get through the day in peace. I'm a fan of his page on Facebook (Tom Zuba teaches a new way to do grief) and I realized something, I was doing grief in a painful way. My goal was to "get through" and "survive", he talks about the power of words, those are powerful words. You see, I thought I had to go through Mother's Day without them. It hit me when I read this that I was wrong. I was the one pushing them away. I'm doing something different, I'm going to embrace Mother's Day and be with ALL my kids. Physical presence is only one kind of presence. Also, lets face it? Who's been in the company of another and still felt alone? Yes, I'm going to embrace, hold and carry each and every one of my children. I will never be without them again.

From the words of Tom Zuba on his page:

Mother's Day Tip #6
or a painful Mother's Day.
The decision is yours
and you will make it over
and over
and over again
between now and Mother's Day.

The good news
is that you
and only you will determine
if you have a peaceful Mother's Day

You are not a victim.
You are a co-creator
and you are co-creating consciously
when and if you are awake
and living in the present moment
or you
like so many others
are co-creating subconsciously when you are asleep
and living in either the past
the future
or both.

If you are living with the death of a child
your mother
your mother-in-law
your spouse
or a dear mother-figure
of course you will cry.
You cry because you love.

Crying is actually a sign that you are healing.
That you are strong.
That you are willing to feel.
That you are willing to be fully human.
That scares many
many people.

The part about being fully human.
How would it feel if you set some time aside today
and tomorrow
and Sunday
to BE with the person you love who
finished his/her earthly work
left their physical body
and returned home
To Love.
To Source.
To the place we each came from
and the place we will each return to
when we are done
here on earth?

How would it feel if you connected with that?
Do you know how to begin?

There is a new way to do grief
which creates a new way to do life.

You can find my book
Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief

I chose to keep his book info, because it was life changing for me. It's helping me do this in a way that brings me peace, not pain. Okay, enough of the verbiage. How I chose to spend Mother's Day with ALL my children.

The pink and blue bears are Emma and Chase. The green bear is Ivy. My mom saw the bear while I was having my first ultrasound, the one I found out Ivy was non-viable. Something pulled her to it so she got it, then she got home and saw my email. She said the bear was meant for me.

It's a good day! I am healing and it's going to be okay. My kids are not gone or missing. My kids are simply not on Earth. Loving and missing them each and every day. Feeling lucky today.

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