Thursday, May 5, 2016

What a week....

It's been quite the week.  I've been doing well, really well.  I'm actually feeling better than I have been for a long time.  The fight and the win is in me.

Had a counseling session Monday that left me less than happy.  I was able to tell her yesterday that I was not okay with how it went and talk about it.  As a result of Mondays session I also hair flipped on a close group of friends and really messed up.  I'm facing them and truly apologizing and accepting responsibility for my actions.  Also had a trigger yesterday and dealt with it well, got through it.  All in all I feel I'm winning.  I know not every day will be like this, but I'm going to celebrate the days that are and put things in place for days that are not.

I have actually put things in place to prevent another "Friday" from occurring.  This goes from letting someone know when I've reached a trigger at the onset of one so that if I spiral, someone is aware and checking up on me, to rating my days so that if I have more than one bad day in a row I can analyze what's going on or have help with it by DH or my therapist and try to change the course, daily breathing/meditation, etc.  I'm very proud of myself and how far I'm coming.  I know it's still a road ahead, but I'm not going to discount what I've done and the steps I've taken so far.

I have some good job opportunities going on too, so life in general is looking up.  This weekend will be tough, but I'm going to make it through that too and it's going to be okay.

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