Well, not quite, that's really tomorrow, but same difference, am I right?
So, this past week.... Emotionally I've had a VERY hard time. I'm having issues with connecting with Anna and honestly just feeling like a complete piece of shit on many different angles. I could go on and on, but the short version is, I feel like a terrible mom in many different ways.
So, in addition to emotional stuff. the night of New Year's Eve, I had a bit of brown spotting. It made me nervous, and I decided to watch and see. I had more spotting New Year's Day, and then a bit more the next morning. It was all very mild. I thought my doctors offices would be open on Jan. 2nd, but it was a holiday for everyone, except for me. I did call the on-call OB who told me to go home on bedrest and call the next day.
On Tuesday I called my MFMs office and she called me back and since I hadn't spotted for over 24 hours at that point, she said she'd message my OB to add an u/s to my appt today and go from there. I had my u/s today and Anna looked great. She's now 2 lbs, 4 oz, so she's gained 7 oz in 9 days!! No wonder I'm eating all the time. Fluid, placenta, everything looked good. At this time there's no way to know what is going on.
I also had my GD test today, and man, I hate that test. Hopefully I passed. I should know in a few days. My OB thinks the spotting might be uterine growth, but he doesn't know. They did take blood work for infection, just to make sure.
Steroid shots came up as well, because of my history. He's going to discuss it further with the MFM and she'll probably talk to me about it on Tuesday, but they are considering it as a precaution. Right now there's no signs of pre-term labor.
Also when I had the spotting, DH asked me about going to L&D to get checked out. I couldn't go. I mean I just froze in fear and panic at the thought of going there. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to give birth, even at term, because the thought of going there was not something I could handle. I've brought this up to my therapist and I forgot to bring it up to my OB today since I was freaking out about the spotting, but I will when I see him in two weeks and I'll tell the MFM on Tuesday.
So, here I am, almost to the third tri, just one week left. Things, I think, are okay. We'll see. I hope emotionally I can get myself together.