Sunday, April 16, 2017

Struggling

So much I want to say, but honestly I'm struggling very much right now in a lot of different ways. I've had things I've wanted to post, but when I come to do it, I just sit and stare. I thought it was normal PP tired, adjust to two kids at home, etc. but it's a little bit more and it's hitting me more and more.

I'm safe, no worries about anything like that. I'm struggling though and even though right now I'm breaking down crying for a million different reasons, I know it's going to be okay and that I'll come out on the other side. I'll post when I can, as I am able to.

Thank you everyone who reaches out, who reads, who supports me, and who cares.

Happy Easter! Lots of love to you.

6 comments:

  1. Thinking of you...get help if you need it. Caring for two small children is overwhelming and exhausting in the best of circumstances. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't seek out help after my first daughter was born when I had post-partum anxiety. You deserve to enjoy this time with your children.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I care about you! I'm not on your side of the screen, but I have been following along for a couple years and I really think you are a terrific mom! I sure wish I could be there to bring you a meal or help in some way. There is a really wonderful author who has a podcast that encourages me every single time. It is here: sallyclarkson.com. (She has also suffered three losses). If you have a moment to listen she would probably really bless you. Wish I could be there! Love, Kristin

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi love!! I am so happy to see your rainbow. We are in the rare group that had the horrifying loss of stillborn twins. PTSD is real. I was so so so happy to carry Judah to 38 weeks and push out a live baby. But because of my prior losses I never allowed myself to fully love my belly and bond. When he was born, I was so happy and so grateful, but then I felt massive guilt because of all the emotions that followed. I had forgotton how incredibly hard infants are. They cry all the time, you feed hours a day and don't sleep. My sweet toddlers became awful and naughty and life got really really intense. I LOVED him but didn't feel this deep love for him that I did for Noah and Beckom (the older toddler brothers). I felt so guilty because he was all I wanted/had been begging God for. He got RSV and had to be hospitalized for 10 days at 5 weeks. It snapped me out of it. I dealt with some PP stuff and cried and laughed and all in between...I cant honestly say that the hormones have calmed down, we have made it to the almost sleeping through the night, and things are calming down. Big hugs <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hugs to you! You're a wonderful person! Hang in there and know that happier days are ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just know that we are here for you in whatever capacity is needed! Love and hugs!

    ReplyDelete